Self-Care After an EMDR Therapy Session
Whether you’ve already had your EMDR therapy session or you have one upcoming on the calendar, you may be wondering what to expect afterwards.
Some people walk out of their session feeling lighter than when they went in. Others feel depleted or emotionally drained. Still others are not sure what they feel, only that they feel altered in some way.
All of that is normal after EMDR therapy. It doesn’t mean something went wrong or you didn’t “do it right.”
EMDR therapy works by asking your brain to reprocess stored traumatic memory. It is not a passive process. Your nervous system is doing real work during those sessions, and that work doesn't stop the moment you leave. Integration continues for hours, sometimes days, afterward, so what you do in that window matters.
Here's what can help.
Give Your Body Time to Land
EMDR activates the body, not just the mind. You may notice physical heaviness, fatigue, tension you didn't have going in, or a kind of spaciness that makes it hard to think clearly. This is not a sign that something went wrong. It’s a sign that your nervous system is working.
In the hours after a session, try to keep your schedule as clear as possible. This is not the day to have a difficult conversation, give a work presentation, or do anything that requires you to “perform.” If you have the option, don’t have any plans or responsibilities to tend to after your session.
Even five minutes of intentional transition, taking a walk or sitting in your car before going inside, counts.
It also would be a good idea to let the people close to you know that you need a calming rest of your day. You do not have to explain your session. You can simply say that you had therapy and you need a quiet evening. That is enough.
Use Your Body to Regulate, Not Your Mind
After an EMDR session, cognitive processing is not your friend. Trying to analyze what came up, make sense of it, or figure out what it means will often make you feel worse, not better. Your brain has already done a significant amount of processing. Asking it to do more immediately afterward is like trying to run a second marathon after the first.
Instead, use your body.
Grounding through movement. A slow walk, not a workout. The goal is proprioception, the awareness of your body in space, not heart rate elevation. Feel your feet on the ground or stand barefoot in grass or a fluffy rug. Notice what you see around you. Let your nervous system know that you are here, now, and safe.
Temperature as a reset. Cold water on your face or wrists, a warm or cold shower, holding a cup of something warm or iced. Temperature changes communicate safety signals to your nervous system in ways that thinking about safety cannot.
Slow, extended exhales. Here’s a more specific version than just “take deep breaths”: make your exhale longer than your inhale. Inhale for four counts. Exhale for six to eight. Do it a few times. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part that signals that the threat has passed.
Be Intentional With Your Attention
After EMDR, your nervous system is more permeable than usual. Things that might normally roll off you can land harder. This is not the time for a true crime podcast, a scroll through infertility forums, or a tense conversation about something unresolved.
This is also not the time to research the thing you were processing in session. The urge to Google it, to find answers, to stay close to the material is understandable. It can feel productive. It usually isn't. It often pulls you back into activation at the exact moment your system is trying to settle.
Give yourself permission to engage in content that is genuinely low-demand: your comfort TV show, a podcast that makes you laugh, or calming music.
Notice Emotions & Use Your Calm Place
In the days after EMDR, emotions can surface unexpectedly. Grief that seemed settled. A flash of anger. Sadness while doing something mundane. This is part of integration, not a sign that the therapy made things worse.
You do not have to resolve every emotion that surfaces. You do not have to understand it or trace it back to its origin.
You can notice it. Name it. Let it move through.
If you have tools from your sessions, such as your Calm Place, this is the time to use them. They exist exactly for these moments.
Reach Out If You Need To
If you leave a session feeling destabilized in a way that doesn't settle, you can contact your therapist. That is not weakness or overreaction. Responsible EMDR practice includes support between sessions when things feel genuinely unmanageable.
EMDR for reproductive grief, infertility, pregnancy loss, and postpartum distress often touches material that has been stored for a long time. The processing is layered. Some sessions may feel like release, and some may feel like they stirred things up without resolving them.
This is normal. It does not mean the therapy is not working.
What it means is that you are doing something serious, and so plan to seriously take care of yourself accordingly. The way you tend to yourself afterward is part of the treatment.
