Therapy for Queer Family Building In Pasadena & Online Across CA
Support for queer people navigating the additional effort and unique joys that come with family building.
All the intentional effort it takes to become a parent as an LGBTQ person isn’t fair.
The time and cost of building your family is significant, and you wish you could become a parent without having to go through all this extra work. Maybe you’ve encountered medical providers who ask inappropriate questions or lack basic knowledge of queer relationships and LGBTQ family building. You could be navigating legal matters alongside worries about the political climate in this country and what that means for the safety of your family.
Maybe you’re encountering difficulties with trying to conceive or experiencing pregnancy losses that feel devastating given what it took to get there. If you’re the birthing person, you could be experiencing relationship challenges, gender dysphoria, or mood changes that make you feel like you have no idea who you are anymore. If you’re the non-gestational parent, you could be experiencing pressure to perform a particular role, jealousy and helplessness, or feeling overlooked and invisible.
You’re not alone if you feel:
Resentful of people who don’t have to go through this
Tired of constantly explaining or defending your family and choices
Isolated from the queer community
Worried about your children’s safety and belonging
Uncertain as to how your life will change once becoming a parent
You are not “the problem”—you’re growing your family within cis-heteronormative systems that were not built for you. All you want is to love who you love and expand your love to include children.
You’re ready to stop being consumed by worry and fear and start joyfully living your life as a queer parent.
Because becoming a parent looks different for each queer person, therapy will, too.
Whether you’re starting to consider expanding your family, currently trying to conceive, are pregnant, or already have a child, what we work on together will be informed by what you’re currently facing and the unique impact of family building on you. I’ll hold your feelings, fears, and dilemmas with care and clinical understanding, and you will not have to explain or justify your identities or family building choices. On a personal note, I hold an LGBTQ+ identity.
I will pull from approaches such as attachment and early childhood experiences, feminist and liberation psychology, ACT, CBT, EMDR, and parts work. You may need concrete skills to get through an upcoming medical appointment, navigate waiting for test results, or setting conversation boundaries with a family member. Maybe we do grief work, whether it’s grieving an unsuccessful fertility treatment or a pregnancy loss, the methods and compromises needed to have a child, or your identity prior to becoming a parent.
My hope is that you:
Release the what-ifs of how you got here, even when it wasn't the route you planned or expected.
Walk into pediatrician visits, social gatherings, and playdates without bracing for the moment someone assumes you’re not the “real” parent or needing to prove or explain your place there.
Show up and exist as the unique, badass queer parent that you are.
Specialized therapy for queer parents and parents-to-be can help you:
Process what it took to get here - Work through the losses, treatments, and traumas so they stop dictating how you feel about your family now.
Build coping skills for stress management - Navigate medical appointments, waiting periods, and hard family conversations without them unravelling you.
Enjoy and trust the bond with your child - Feel secure in your connection, whether you carried them, are genetically related to them, or not.
Integrate new community - Experience less isolation as you discover and build connections with new people with whom you can be fully yourself.
Claim your identity as a queer parent - Move from defending your place in a system that wasn't built for you to being confident about the parent you are becoming.
Imagine feeling more secure and capable as a queer parent, no matter what life brings.
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Not at all. Therapy is a strength-based process that empowers you to address your mental health and build resilience, not a judgment on your parenting abilities. Rather than it being an indication of weakness, deciding to seek help demonstrates your commitment to your child(ren) and your capacity for growth.
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Yes. Trying to conceive and parenting can place enormous strain on relationships, in addition to minority stress, and couples therapy for queer parents can help you to feel seen by your partner, learn coping skills to navigate frustrating emotional patterns, and ultimately feel like you’re on the same team again. If you’re doing individual therapy with me, there is also the option for your partner to join us for a session to support your treatment goals.
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Meeting your therapy goals varies based on your personal situation, severity of symptoms, and dedication to the process. I’ve seen clients achieve their therapy goals within six months and others who enjoy a longer process. Therapy for queer parents often goes hand in hand with your conception process and new treatment phases could necessitate different therapeutic support, such as getting pregnant or discerning whether to have more children. I’ll check in with you throughout services to review your progress and how you are feeling about our work together. Length of treatment can always be adjusted as needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
