Fertility Counseling
Does Your Anxiety About Whether You’ll Be Able to Have a Baby Feel All-Consuming?
Maybe your latest round of fertility treatment was unsuccessful or perhaps your life feels “on pause” while you wait for the results of a recent procedure. You may be consumed with feelings of disappointment, worry, or sadness that seem to follow you everywhere you go. It feels like every time you step outside your house or log onto social media there’s another pregnant person, baby announcement, or new baby reminding you of what you don’t have.
Not Knowing When or if You’ll Be Able to Have a Successful Pregnancy and Birth Can Be Agonizing
If someone could just look into your future and tell you the outcome of your fertility journey, you’d be able to cope. But it’s the unknown that torments you. You might find yourself fixating on what you eat, drink, and do for exercise as affecting your ability to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term.
And then there’s the triggers of other people’s ease with conception that makes you want to scream. It feels incredibly unfair that your friend got pregnant “by accident” or that your brother’s wife is on her third pregnancy before you’ve even had one. Sometimes you feel anger and hate towards these people, then shame comes in because you know it’s not their fault and you “should” feel happy for them.
All you want is a healthy pregnancy and birth. With the help of a fertility counselor, you can learn how to regulate your emotions and feel balanced again through the ups and downs of your fertility journey.
The Road to Parenthood Is Not Straightforward for Many People
We know that one in six people of reproductive age worldwide are impacted by infertility. You’re not alone if you’re struggling with the highs and lows of trying to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term. It’s understandable if you feel obsessed with tracking your cycle, chained to the medical treatment schedule, and anxious about making plans for the future.
Perhaps your work feels unimportant and it’s a struggle to stay focused and productive. It could be that your relationship with your partner is suffering and you’re feeling disconnected with them because they don’t seem to understand what you’re going through emotionally and physically.
Feeling Powerless to Have the One Thing You Want Most in the World
For people trying to conceive, it’s common to feel like your body is a failure, or worse, that you yourself are a failure especially in the role of woman, wife, or daughter. Why can’t getting and staying pregnant work like it seems to for everyone else? Sometimes it feels like you’re at war with your body, or the medical system, or even the world at large. You may have started to question your belief systems at certain points in the process.
The intensity of your emotions may have led to increased isolation and declining social invitations. Social gatherings and conversations can feel like emotional landmines you’d rather just avoid.
The rollercoaster of emotions may feel never-ending. The good news, however, is that with the help of a compassionate, trained fertility therapist, you can find equilibrium and your way back to fulfilling relationships.
Fertility Therapy Can Help You Manage Stress and Move Forward With Hope
Talk therapy is highly effective in helping people cope with fertility challenges, and I’ve dealt with a variety of issues people face on the road to conception and birth. As a reproductive mental health therapist, I combine my extensive training on infertility, pregnancy loss, and assisted reproductive technologies with a measured, compassionate approach.
Whether you’ve been trying to conceive for years, just received an infertility diagnosis, or somewhere in-between, fertility counseling can help you to process feelings, develop new coping skills, and connect to your innate capacity for growth and healing.
The Training and Experience to Support Your Healing
I have specialized training in reproductive mental health, most notably with a Maternal Mental Health Certificate for Clinical Providers from Postpartum Support International. I’m a professional member of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). I’ve completed ASRM’s Mental Health Professionals Training Modules, and stay up-to-date with the latest research and legislation regarding fertility treatments.
On a personal note, I have lived experience with infertility and trying to conceive over age 35.
What to Expect From Our Work Together
Your anxieties and fears will be held with compassion, clinical understanding, and care. We’ll get curious about the root causes of your distress and process your feelings about your fertility journey as they arise. I will not offer platitudes about events “happening for a reason” or make empty promises about your family building outcomes.
Infertility counseling clients often focus on:
Developing coping skills for stress management - practicing mindfulness exercises, somatic practices, and relaxation techniques that will help to decrease your stress and improve your health
Deepening self-awareness and processing trauma - exploring recurring emotions to better understand the unique impact of fertility challenges on you and addressing “stuck” trauma experiences through EMDR
Building resilience and finding meaning - naming and honoring what you’ve been through to strengthen your self-image and build your confidence, along with integrating your fertility experiences into your life narrative
With the help of a supportive and experienced fertility counselor, it is possible to decrease your self-doubt and not second guess every decision you make. It is possible to enjoy your relationships with family and friends again. And it is possible to feel moments of peace and experience a more balanced, calm perspective.
You May Still Have Questions About Fertility Counseling
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While therapy doesn’t address physical conception and pregnancy issues, it can significantly improve your emotional wellbeing, relationship dynamics, and decision-making process. While stress does not cause infertility, decreasing your stress will only be beneficial to your conception goals. Deciding not to get help for a problem right now very likely means the problem will become larger as time goes on. Fertility therapy will put you in a position to proactively address these issues and experience change with something you can control–your wellbeing.
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I get it, as fertility treatments are a significant investment and not always covered by insurance. If you do have health insurance, many plans offer reimbursement for services from an out-of-network provider, especially once you reach your deductible. You can do an instant benefits check here to see if you can get reimbursed for a portion of your therapy costs. Some IVF counseling clients also find it helpful to reflect on what the costs will be of not getting support, on yourself, your relationships, and your desired future.
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Therapist fit is extremely important to therapeutic outcomes, so you're smart to try to find a therapist who gets it. Many therapists specialize in counseling for infertility and reproductive mental health, including myself. Research, recommendations from your fertility clinic, and initial consultations can help ensure you find a good fit.
You Can Move Through Your Fertility Journey With Greater Self-Compassion
If you’d like to schedule an initial consultation or discuss any questions you may have regarding fertility counseling in Los Angeles, I invite you to reach out by clicking on the buttons below.
