Pregnancy Loss Counseling
Do You Wonder What You Could Have Done Differently to Prevent Your Pregnancy or Infant Loss?
If you recently experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, whether it was an abortion, miscarriage, termination for medical reasons, fetal reduction, or stillbirth, it can be a shock to the system. You may be wondering what you could have done to prevent this outcome. Perhaps you’re feeling guilt, regret, shame, or anger, alongside the unfairness of it all. Along with the loss of your baby, you’re navigating the loss of how the future was supposed to look.
The Waves of Sadness Can Be Disconcerting
Since your loss, it’s been hard to get your bearing and it sometimes feels like the world is upside down. Perhaps you have a string of “good” days where the grief is less present, then the sadness comes up again “out of nowhere” and you find yourself struggling to function. It could be that flashbacks are keeping you up at night and affecting your sleep.
You may be struggling with daily responsibilities or not understand why the loss is hitting you so hard. It could be that your work now feels unimportant and it’s difficult to stay focused and productive. Perhaps the loss strained your relationship with your partner; you seem to be dealing with the grief in different ways and feel disconnected. Most of all, you envy people around you with living children and healthy pregnancies who don’t seem to realize how lucky they are.
All you want is to feel like yourself again. With the help of a grief therapist, you can process your experience and feel equilibrium once more.
You Are Not Alone if You’ve Been Feeling Guilt, Shame, or Self-Blame
Despite its secrecy and taboo nature, pregnancy loss is incredibly common. It’s estimated that one in four pregnancies end in a miscarriage and stillbirth occurs in one in 175 births. Termination for medical reasons is harder to track due to lack of nuanced reporting, but we know that one in four women report having had an abortion and some of those are TFMRs.
Common Symptoms of Pregnancy Loss Include Anger, Numbness, and Isolation
It’s normal to feel intense anger after this kind of loss: anger at the medical staff, anger at your partner for their behavior, or anger at people with living children. “What did I do to deserve this?” In your grief, you may feel connected to your baby, and you may unconsciously want to stay in the pain because it means staying with your baby.
People who experience pregnancy or infant loss may have symptoms such as:
Shock, numbness, disbelief - Perhaps you have trouble grasping the news or feel nothing at all. You may deny that the loss has happened. You may feel a private sense of being alone or empty.
Searching and yearning - These feelings tend to overlap with the initial shock and get stronger over time. You may look for a reason for your loss. Perhaps you have dreams about the baby or yearn for what might have been.
Depression and loneliness - Once reality sinks in, you may feel tired, sad, and helpless. You may have trouble getting back into your normal routine. It can feel challenging to socialize or be around other people.
Whatever you’re experiencing, it can feel overwhelming and you wonder when it will feel better again. The good news is that with the help of a compassionate, trained reproductive therapist who provides grief counseling, you can get back to feeling like yourself and connected to others.
Pregnancy Loss Counseling Can Help You Reduce Your Emotional Burden
Talk therapy offers a secure, nonjudgmental space to explore and validate emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. Sharing feelings with a trained grief therapist can help reduce your emotional burden and move toward acceptance. As a reproductive mental health therapist, I combine my extensive training on pregnancy loss and perinatal mental health conditions with a measured, compassionate approach.
Whether you experienced an abortion, miscarriage, termination for medical reasons (TFMR), fetal reduction, or stillbirth, getting support through counseling can decrease your sense of aloneness and provide empathy and understanding for what you’re going through. Guilt, sadness, and anger towards yourself and others doesn’t have to consume your life for months or years. I believe in your capacity for post-traumatic growth.
The Training and Experience to Support Your Healing
I have specialized training in reproductive mental health, most notably with a Maternal Mental Health Certificate for Clinical Providers from Postpartum Support International. I’m a professional member of RTZ HOPE, a national nonprofit that provides resources and community for people who have experienced loss on their journey to parenthood, and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM).
On a personal note, I have lived experience with pregnancy loss.
What to Expect From Our Work Together
Your anger, sadness, and yearning for what might have been will be held with compassion, clinical understanding, and care. We’ll process your grief in ways that feel supportive to you during your counseling sessions, reduce your emotional distress, and integrate this experience into your parenthood narrative so you can move forward with hope. I will not offer harmful platitudes about “everything happening for a reason” or suggest that you can “just try again.”
Pregnancy loss clients often focus on:
Developing realistic coping skills for grief - identifying your triggers, practicing relaxation techniques that will help to decrease your stress, and finding moments of connection with others that feel supportive
Processing grief and trauma - exploring your grief in a curious, compassionate manner, processes fears and anxieties about the future, and addressing “stuck” trauma experiences through EMDR
Building acceptance and finding meaning - coming to terms with what has happened, integrating the experience into your parenthood narrative, and making plans for the future
With the help of a supportive and experienced pregnancy loss therapist, it is possible to find emotional steadiness again. It is possible to enjoy your relationships with your spouse, family, and friends again. And it is possible to develop hope for the future.
You May Still Have Questions About Pregnancy Loss Counseling
-
Pregnancy loss is a profound and valid loss. Therapy can help process the unique grief that comes with losing a pregnancy or infant, which often involves complex emotions and unfulfilled dreams. Grief is deeply personal and valid at any stage of loss. Getting support after your miscarriage or other loss is vital, as we were not meant to hold these events alone. Therapy is for anyone who feels emotionally impacted, including partners, regardless of the circumstances.
-
While therapy involves revisiting painful experiences, it is done in a supportive and gradual way. I will help you process grief at your own pace. Further, if you decide to incorporate EMDR therapy, that modality is effective with little to no discussion of traumatic events, which makes it a great option for those who don’t feel ready to talk about what happened just yet.
-
It’s true that therapy won’t erase your grief or bring your baby back. But it can provide tools and support to navigate what happened. Many people find pregnancy loss therapy transformative in helping them process their emotions and feel ready to conceive again, if that’s their goal.
You Can Find Equilibrium Again and Move Forward With Hope
If you’d like to schedule an initial consultation or discuss any questions you may have regarding pregnancy loss counseling in Los Angeles, I invite you to reach out by clicking on the buttons below.
