8 Metaphors for Parenting Twins During the First Year
Bringing one baby home is life-changing. Bringing two home at once? That’s an entirely different world. Parents of multiples often share that while the first year is filled with love and wonder, it can also feel overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting. If you’ve ever wondered how to survive the first year with twins, you are not alone.
Sometimes, when words fall short, metaphors can help us capture the experience. Researcher and RN Cheryl Tatano Beck conducted a qualitative study exploring how parents describe the reality of parenting twins during that first year, and the metaphors they used beautifully reflect the emotional landscape of raising multiples (Beck, 2002).
Below, I’ll walk you through the eight metaphors identified in Beck’s study. My hope is that they help you feel seen, understood, and less alone in this journey.
1. Living in a Blur
Many parents of twins describe the first year as a complete blur. Days and nights run together with feedings, diaper changes, and soothing happening around the clock. Looking back, some parents realize they can barely remember specific moments of the first year because survival mode took over.
2. Life on Hold
Parents often feel like their own lives are temporarily on pause. Hobbies, careers, social time, and even simple pleasures like going out for coffee may feel out of reach, not to mention basic care like showering and eating. This metaphor speaks to the sacrifice parents of twins often make, and the hope that “life will resume” when routines stabilize.
3. Being an Orchestrator
Parenting twins requires constant coordination. You’re not just caring for two babies—you’re managing schedules, dividing attention, and keeping everyone (including yourself, if possible) in harmony. The orchestrator metaphor reflects the mental load of balancing multiple needs at once.
4. Being a Juggler
Even the best orchestrator can’t escape the juggling act of parenting twins. One baby cries, the other needs a bottle, and you’re still trying to answer a text or stir a pot of soup. The juggler metaphor captures the pressure of trying to keep everything in the air without letting anything crash.
5. Being an Equalizer
Twin parents quickly become mindful of fairness. Who was fed first? Who got held longer? The equalizer metaphor reflects the delicate balance parents try to maintain so both babies feel equally loved and cared for, even when perfect balance isn’t always possible.
6. Being a Quick-Change Artist
From changing diapers in record time to switching from bottle to breast to pacifier within seconds, twin parents often feel like quick-change artists. Flexibility becomes second nature as you adapt to each baby’s shifting needs—sometimes in the same moment.
7. Being a Milk Factory
For breastfeeding parents of twins, the demand can feel relentless. The metaphor of being a milk factory reflects both the physical intensity of producing enough milk for two babies and the emotional reality of feeling like your body exists solely to nourish.
8. Living With an Open Invitation
Parents of twins often describe how their lives suddenly feel like an open invitation for public attention. Strangers stop them to ask questions, peek into strollers, or share their own twin stories. While sometimes heartwarming, it can also feel intrusive and exhausting, especially when parents are already stretched thin.
The Takeaways–Why These Metaphors Matter
Hearing these metaphors from real parents of twins reminds us that the challenges of the first year are not a personal failure—they are part of the shared experience of raising multiples. Research confirms that the mental health of parents of multiples is at higher risk due to sleep deprivation, role strain, and social isolation (Glazebrook et al., 2004).
Naming these struggles through metaphor helps reduce shame and opens the door to compassion.
These metaphors are also helpful to educate clinicians and health care providers about your emotional experience. Unfortunately, not all providers have an understanding of the challenges of parenting multiples, and when you’re in the thick of that first year, you may not have the words (or energy) to describe your experience.
Send this article to your provider, share with your partner, or pick the top two metaphors that resonate and expound on the topic during your next health care visit.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in the midst of the first year with twins, remember this: the metaphors parents use—blur, hold, orchestrator, juggler, invitation, factory—don’t just describe challenges. They also remind us of resilience, humor, and the ability to keep going even when the pace feels impossible.
You don’t have to navigate this year alone. Whether through therapy, twin clubs, or twin parent support groups, you deserve a space to process your feelings and find strategies for making things even slightly more manageable.
👯 If you’re wondering how to survive the first year with twins while caring for your mental health, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me today. Together, we can find ways to make this journey feel more manageable and less isolating.
References
Beck, C. T. (2002). Mothering twins during the first year of life: A metaphor analysis. The Journal of Perinatal Education, 11(2), 39–48.
Glazebrook, C., Sheard, C., Cox, S., Oates, M., & Ndukwe, G. (2004). Parenting stress in first-time mothers of twins and triplets conceived after in vitro fertilization. Fertility and Sterility, 81(3), 505–511.
